Water, Water EVERYWHERE
And NOT A DROP TO DRINK. (That's the Ancient
Mariner's Consequence,
I think)
What's a Music Man To Do? (He's a stranger in
this place.) He
doesn't speak the language; He's not even the right
race!
His trombone, he left on Venus,
Where he just returned from
tour. (The
reception there was warmer; For trouble, music was
the cure.)
Though he left one instrument
behind, Still he thought to
bring the case. And in
it there was packed a book (and one Venetian
vase).
In the vase there were some ashes,
(and in this dusty place), he thought of Dustin Hoffman
(who was also in outer space).
The Music Man began to mutter
(since he could not remember all the lines); At one point, he began to
stutter,
Because the Martians had demanded he pay
fines...
For all the TROUBLE they
were having, They needed
sorely a man to pin. Like the boy who cried wolf-- (Or was that the wolf with the hairy chin?)
Now the
music man WAS a stranger, And he alone was without
sin; But the Martians were getting very thirsty, (since their soil
was so thin.)
And that spelled
T-R-O-U-B-L-E in River
City.
Over spilt milk no one ought to cry. But these
Martians had it really bad-- Their very rivers were running dry. So they declared, THIS MAN SHOULD DIE.
So with a mighty huff and
puff , (The magic dragon had moved to Mercury by then) Those
Martians tried to blow away the Music Man, (Like a candle in the
wind).
But there was too much dust to blow that hard; It made
them spit and gag to try. And while they were spitting and gagging (and getting thirstier and wondering why)
The Music Man had time and space to think, Since he was all
alone. He thought, "Just what else was in that case?" (That was
the case without the trombone, and WITH the Venetian vase.)
A Book--Perchance to read?
Perhaps some incantation there contained, (Since he could
not recall the lines to say) And he was a stranger in a stranger
land, And with him, no trombone to play.
The first thing he read was
"I'll burn my books." (But that was Faust's line) And besides, he
already had a vase of ash; "My cup runneth over" only works with
wine.
Now, there was "Ashes to Ashes and Dust to Dust." But that was
God's line, and a hard act to follow. He didn't think the Martians would
get it. Already they could hardly swallow.
Anway, dust on Mars,
There was already aplenty; (and as for the Music Man. He had plenty of
trouble already!)
"To be or not to be?" A soliloquy?
"To
endure the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune?" Now that WOULD NOT
DO. Imagine There's No Heaven? (Look what happened to John
Lennon!)
"To take up arms against a sea of troubles?" Now THERE was a
big idea! And since he couldn't just let
it be...
'Cause there WAS WATER, WATER everywhere, And
NOT A DROP TO DRINK. If by opposing, he could end them, (the Sea of
Troubles, not the Martians, I think)
Maybe the Martians would not
sink... In that great big hole they'd dug so deep. Along with all their precious
water (which to the lowest level tends to seep)
And maybe HIS troubles
would be over too. (A solution to the Music Man's troubles was long overdue). Like killing two
birds with one stone cast from a thong (or in this case saving them with a
song).
So the Music Man began
to sing: "To Be or Not to Be..." (And thus the Fiddler on
the Roof was born, From Hamlet and Ophelia's superlative tragedy)
And as he sang (and
The Birds heard his need) The
Martian waters began to recede! Pretty soon, on the wings of doves, Appeared an
olive leaf--and some other weed.
And John Lennon
showed up just in time; (He wasn't
dead afterall, just adjusting Pluto's rhyme.) And he sang
(well, you already know) And then of course, there was
a big rainbow.
And somewhere, After the concert was all over, The Music Man threw
a giant party,
And sent for his Red
Rover.
For it was Jupiter-sized victory: He could afford to treat even
the Martians like Kings. Because The Music
Man had traveled on his inner planet tour, From
fantasies to dreams, and dreams to bigger things--
Because the Music Man had journeyed,
Where no man before had gone: On the Road to Hell
and back, which led to
Infinity and beyond.
(I think they call this a
Universal tour-- and it
all started with the Solar System as a lure.)
For the Music Man was
destined for greatness, Because his was a Jupiter Destiny, and thus its lateness. And also
because he played his cards right, Though he was surrounded by something other
than light.
Out of a tiny seed, they say, grows a mighty oak. There's a
chance of that, but what if destiny's broke? It helps when that seed gets
trampled into the ground, And a big flood
stirs EVERYTHING round and round.
And when God's NOT in
his heaven, And all's NOT right with the world, He's in the field with the trampled,
Where the Grapes of Wrath are cured.
And he's singing and dancing,
Amongst the lilies of the field. Trampling out the
vintage So the Grapes of Wrath will yield.
This is the stuff of
which Jeramiah was talking. And though to the Music Man it
sounded like Greek, He knew Bullfrogs did make a mighty fine drink. And when offered their chalice, he alone did not
shrink.
And this is the stuff dreams are made of. And Jupiter
destinies, too. And joy to the world, And joy to me and you.
But
as for waking the dead, and justice, and forgiveness, and
grace: It will take at least one trombone TO REALLY SHAKE UP THIS
PLACE!
So when the Saints Come Marching (they're on
Jupiter now) Look to the Music Man; Only He knows where or how.
Jupiter Bugs Invade Earth Exterminators are
Perplexed
Athens, Greece. 1 March 2007
Authorities in Athens have reported
numerous sightings of large insects that are resistant to usual
extermination measures.
"I am perplexed," said Special Agent
Little. "They look like giant cockroaches, but they
seem to possess unusual intelligence."
Special Agent Little
went on to explain that these cockroaches are either immune to
FDA-approved pesticides, or else they are simply not taking the
bait.
"They are especially rampant in school buildings, where
unlike ordinary roaches, they brazenly run the halls in broad
daylight," said a school official who spoke to us on conditions of
anonymity. "We have told children not to touch them, and to
promptly report any sightings to the nearest teacher."
"Unfortunately, kids will be kids, and some school children have been
apprehended concealing these clever insects in their lunchboxes, their
pencil boxes, even their pockets!"
Mars Side
reporter Christopher Marlowe has learned that city, state and even federal
authorities are conducting a special investigation, having reason to
believe that the Music Man, either inadvertantly or deliberately, allowed
these cockroach-like insects to board his Red Rover, in which he
recently returned from Jupiter.
"We don't think they are
really cockroaches at all," said Sargent Pepper. "In fact, we don't
think they even belong to theInsecta class of animals. We
think they are very cleverly designed robots endowed with artificial
intelligence and implanted with information-gathering devices. We
suspect that Jupitorian officials are cleverly using these imposterous
insects to covertly gather secret information about our public
educational system and even our government. We believe they have
malicious intent. We even suspect of the Jupitorians, perhaps
with the help of the Music Man, that they deliberately designed
these covert espionage devices to appeal to innocent school children, so
that they would escape our counter-espionage measures and continue to
propogate...
The Music Man was unavailable for
comment.
LISTEN
to one child reported he heard from his pet roach,
"Charlie."
